Parenting Magazines and Cringing

There is much advice available on the web, and from friends and strangers, about how to successfully launch a writing career. One recurring message is that I should submit articles to parenting magazines.

"You would be so good at writing those funny articles!"

The problem is: parenting magazines make me cringe.

I don't want to be the weary suburban mom who writes self-deprecating vignettes about her stained shirt, her stretched-out yoga pants, and her amazingly witty children. Blech. It is so boring. I marvel at how many people do not understand the basic fact that the only people who actually enjoy running "cute" stories about their children are their spouses and their mothers.

The worst articles are the crafty articles. Use leftover bobby pins to mount your daily decoupage projects. Create your own child harvest birthday party with horse-shaped chocolate lawn ornaments and raffia.

Anything craft-related makes me cringe.

So, I am going to have to find another outlet for submitting articles.